I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of collaboration. An article I wrote entitled, A Room of Her Own, about collaborating with my daughter, Ava, appears on The Joyful Mother’s website today. I’d love it if you checked it out!
I witnessed a beautiful example of collaboration on the playground recently. A four-year-old girl had bravely climbed to the top of a rope tower and called her mom for help when it was time to climb down. If my almost four-year old, Rhys, were at the top and asked for my help, I’d rush over to carry her down, or tell her how to climb down step by step. No problem there. I assume both are fine instincts.
Yet I was drawn to the following interaction: This mom said, “I hear you’re scared. You’ve climbed up higher than you ever have before – how exciting! Can you think of some solutions to get down from the top of the tower?” The little girl thought for a moment then replied, “I could put my foot here and my hand here.” The mom continued this conversation with her daughter all the way down the tower, at times making suggestions when her daughter was stuck, empowering her daughter to face her fear, think through and make decisions.
The little girl beamed with pride. I was inspired. Not inspired enough to actually try something similar with Rhys. Honestly, it’s easier, faster and less aggravating to do things for her or tell her what to do. But I’m thinking about it. I’ll keep you posted!
I have seen similar interactions between parents and kids and think that I am going to try it. In the heat of the moment, though, i forget and only afterward do I think, wow, I could have totally let my kids have figured it out for themselves. Glad we always have the opportunity to keep trying, maybe one of these days I will get it right
I was hoping writing about it would help me remember, but no such luck so far! If I see you in the park, I’ll remind you! Will you do same, please?
I hear Rhys’s father is incredibly agile. She’d probably have no trouble scaling up and down any playground equipment…
Rhys’ father is certainly agile. And cute too.
Just found your blog through your guest post at Scary Mommy which was hilarious by the way. You are really inspiring.
I like how you initially react the way I would then you go all super Mommy on me ( I never do that). I have to try that step back and think about being a similar situation when it comes to my daughter being jealous or anything else.
I also never thought to read to her in the mornings?! What a novel idea giving the children attention-positive at that wild. Maybe I’ll try it. LOL (Maybe not Harry Potter though)
Thanks so much for commenting! I cracked up at your description of me as Super Mommy! I love you already! I had such a meltdown today that Shitty Mommy is more applicable. Ugh! I’m heading over to check out your blog now!