Photo courtesy of Nabisco.com
“I am such a doormat,” I muttered as I patted a second layer of concealer under my eyes. I tossed my hair in a ponytail and wiggled into a pair of faded jeans, determined not to expend any extra energy primping.
I’d agreed to meet my friend, Sandy, at a local bar for one drink and was already regretting my decision.
I couldn’t say no to Sandy, or to anyone. After a tense week at work and a series of unpromising acting auditions across town, I wanted nothing more than a long-anticipated date with my VCR and couch. Yet, when Sandy pleaded for me to comfort her after a run-in with her ex boyfriend, I once again said “sure, why not?” instead of an honest “not a chance in hell.”
Why had I even answered the phone? I wanted to stay home and make love to a family-sized bag of Oreos, not grudgingly show up and listen to my friend’s boyfriend troubles.
Oreos? People? Why did the Oreos always sound like a better option?
A Friday night bar outing with Sandy was never an inexpensive proposition. With $23 in my checkbook, I’d worried all week about the money I was wasting pursuing my acting dreams. Acting lessons, head shots, time off for auditions – I’d spent nearly $1500 over the past few months, $1485 of which I didn’t have to spare.
“Why am I doing this?” I moaned as I checked the mirror for panty lines on my ass and cast a longing gaze at the Oreos on my counter. “Because, I’m an f**king doormat.”
The crowd at the bar spilled over on to the street, people jostling each other for a glimpse of the film crew staking out a corner of the bar. Intrigued by this development, I wished I’d worn better shoes.
I spotted Sandy immediately. Tall, sleek and gorgeous, Sandy held court wherever she appeared.
She looks pretty damn happy to me, I thought, feeling shame for my lack of a comparably fashionable outfit.
“Mary, you’ll never believe it!” Sandy yelled as she waved me over to a small table. “I was picked to be in a Bud Light commercial filming here tonight!”
Perfect. My months of schlepping to auditions around town hadn’t yielded me a damn thing and all Sandy had to do was walk into a bar and a television commercial threw itself at her feet.
“Wow! That’s so cool,” I offered as I slid onto the bar stool next to hers.
The ad agency crew bustled around Sandy and the handful of people selected for the commercial. I steeped in my own envy and planned my exit.
An ad agency representative approached our table, “Ladies, here’s your $1 payment and some forms to fill out. We’ll film you both in the next 15 minutes.”
Wait! This had to be a mistake! I can’t be in a commercial. I’m wearing sneakers!
“Have fun with it, Mary!” Sandy encouraged. “We get to be in a commercial!”
Her enthusiasm bolstered mine, and I decided to enjoy this evening, bad hair and all. And enjoy I did – shouting “I love Chicago!” and mugging for the camera through several takes and many more free Bud Lights. I headed home tired but exhilarated. My Oreo affair could wait another day; tonight, I was a star!
Several weeks later, while opening mail and wondering how I was going to pay for another session of acting classes, I nearly choked on my Ramen noodles. I’d received three checks from the Bud Light advertising agency totaling more than $1400. Apparently my ponytail and big mouth made me some money that night …
“Sandy, can you believe it?” I gushed. “I didn’t know we’d get paid for that Bud Light commercial. My check just came!”
“What are you talking about?” she asked. “I didn’t get a check!”
Apparently, “actors” with speaking parts earn residuals whenever a commercial airs on television while everyone else is paid $1 to keep his or her mouth shut. To this day, nearly 20 years later, I haven’t seen the commercial. It must have aired while I was out having fun (or more likely during one of my Oreo-induced food comas).
I’m linking up with the wonderfully supportive people at Yeah Write. Check out all the great writers on the grid and join in with your own story!
I’m not the only family member to be “discovered” on Chicago’s streets. Check out my daughter’s experience on the Food Network, Blink & You’ll Miss Her!
Oh my god!!! I love this story and what you did with it. The writing is so good I’ll forgive you for making me crave oreos. Well done!
Thank you for brainstorming with me! I had fun writing it – I hope that shows through? I just assume I always crave Oreos
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That is amazing! And awesome! And…makes me feel like maybe I should start leaving the house more. lol
Absolutely leave the house more! These kind of things happen to me all the time now – at least every 20 years – so ya never know!
Oh, how fun!! And how awesome to be paid for “I love Chicago!” Gotta love stuff like that
I know!! Had I known, I would have yelled a longer sentence and maybe been paid per word!
So fun and funny! I was so ready to not like your scene stealing friend but look who’s got the last laugh! Tall, sleek, gorgeous – Feh! You’ve got personality!
Exactly! Now if I can just remember how to use my personality to make money, I’ll be all set! Any chance you’re a casting director on the side? xo
I love found money stories. And it sounds like you made the most of the night.
Me, too. I’m one to get excited when I find a crumpled dollar bill in my pocket, so this found money put me over the edge!
hahaha i LOVE it!! and yes, Chicago rocks.
(Costco has a huge huge huge box of Oreos with sleeves of the crack individually wrapped so no spoiling would happen. Or so I’ve been told.)
Thanks for the tip! Just what I need, individually wrapped crack! I’ll finish this reply once I’m back from visiting my dealer, I mean Costco.
So glad that you stuck out the evening. Too bad we can’t find your commercial on YouTube.
I wish I could find it!! I’ve searched the internet over the past two days. It was a Bud Light “Spotlight” commercial, one of a series that focused on real people in various cities. I found one from Dallas and St. Louis, but can’t find Chicago’s version. If you find it, send it to me (so I can destroy the evidence!)
I am just copying and pasting this first part. Sorry … I promise you will only have to endure it once. I’m Angela — new to blogging and new to yeah write. But, not new to writing. Until becoming unemployed this June (effin’ Scott Walker … oops!), I taught high school English and Creative Writing was one of those courses. So, long story short: I will always have lots to say. Feel free to curse at me if you don’t want to hear all my feedback. If you want more, let me know that too. I will glady offer even further feedback, but I’m not interested in pissing anyone off my first time on the grid. Now, on to your post …
I am first just thinking it’s too bad that you never got to see that commercial. It would have been great if you could have found it online, and posted a link here. The story also shows how life can be so funny sometimes and hand us something totally unexpected and strangely wonderful. I would have liked the voice to be developed a little more, but I probably would get a better sense of that from reading additional posts. It was fun to read.
Thank you for your feedback – I really appreciate your specific, thoughtful comments and will keep working on strengthening my voice. And welcome to Yeah Write! I hope you have as wonderful an experience as I’ve had over the past two months.
I check my mailbox for money every single day because YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!
I’m confident your consistency will be rewarded. Soon.
What a great story! You got a paid acting job after all – and by accident
. It would be awesome if you could somehow get a copy of that add!
I’ll keep looking for the commercial. I’m somewhat scared to see it all these years later! The good news – you probably can’t see my sneakers!
Wow, that’s cool. Great timing. Hoepfully, it will lead to more good fortune.
Me, too! I’ve been waiting 20 years for the next big hit!
I did not realize before reading this that you are an actress. Good luck – hope the next big hit comes faster.
Oh no – I’m not an actress! I wanted to be one when I was in my early 20s, but never had the confidence to keep pursuing it! Thank you for the good wishes!
Ahh – a flashback. Didn’t get it. Sorry
What a great story. And ha! Those checks really DO come in the mail when we need them! And gorgeous writing, as always. OK, why is this the first I heard about your acting career?
Thanks, love! I so wanted to be an actor in my early 20s but didn’t have enough confidence to keep pursuing it. I’m hoping to live vicariously through my daughters
! I’ll let you know how that goes!
What a great story!!!
I actually love everything about it. You did an awesome job!
My favorite part though? That you ended up feeling exhilarated at the end of the night. Such a cool, cool story!
Awww, thank you! I love everything about your feedback also!
It really was a fun evening – way better than a night home alone with a bag of Oreos!
Maybe you could do an Oreo commercial.
You’re a genius! I’ll email this post to Nabisco right away!
Hahhah good for you!! You’re pretty much a celebrity now.
Finally someone acknowledges my celebrity! I’ve been pushing for that for years! Thank you!
How cool! (I love Chicago, too, especially the Cubs.) Great narrative with an unexpected ending. I’ll think of you next time I don’t want to go out!
Thank you! I really am a homebody much of the time. I hope I also remember this story next time I don’t want to go out!
How perfect that the check was almost exactly the amount you had spent on your acting! I love good karma stories. I also love it when the character you perceive as the underdog wins. Good for you!
Loved your writing here and your character development.
P.S. I’m a former Detroiter turned Chicagoan, although now we’re out in the south ‘burbs. Such a great city!
Hi, neighbor! My husband is from Michigan also! I definitely think of myself as the underdog in this story. Sandy had it all going on back then! Who knew my big mouth would pay off? Or maybe it was the ponytail?
What an awesome story! You told it so well, and it made me want to go across the street and buy a bag of Oreos like, stat.
Do it! I bet there’s a film crew across the street just waiting for you. If not, you still get the Oreos!!
Fun, fun story! It’s great how you take us from the verrrrry relateable Oreo urge to disgruntled friend to making the best of the situation – and coming out on top! Bravo!
Thank you for relating to my Oreo fetish! And for the kind words! I’m making my way slowly through the grid today – I’m happy you’re back on this week!! Will read you soon!
I love it when the big mouth with a ponytail and bad shoes wins! Yay you!
Great story!
Me, too! I’ll never wear anything but bad shoes again!!
I often make plans then regret them, so I totally got that. But this was fate, clearly. Well told!
I’m all for this type of fate!
How the Eff did I miss this post??? Now I’M jealous of YOU and I want some Oreos. Effing Oreos.
Love your story-telling. When’s the book comin’ out, eh?
Your lips/God’s ears on the book. I hope someday. I want Oreos too. Just about always
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How awesome! One night that was a set-up to be HIDEOUS turned out to be an awesome paycheck to cover the next round of classes.
Hideous is right! No way I’d have the willingness now to be that spontaneous. I’m lucky I get myself out of the house to go to the grocery store!