Image courtesy of http://www.worldofemotions.com
Were you to ask me, “How are you?” on many days I would truthfully reply, “I’m good, thanks.”
On the other days, when I’m only being polite (read lying), my fingernails tell the real story.
As you know from a previous post, I’m a picker: cuticles, scabs, dry lips. Myself. Others. I don’t discriminate. Whatever will relieve stress is fair game.
Cuticles are my first love; soft, yielding, with the right amount of give and tension. Not a pushover like a scab. Cuticles are fighters; tough and satisfyingly resistant.
If my cuticles resemble a puppy’s ragged chew toy, you can be sure I’ve been anxious, bored or agitated.
If they are smooth and soft, you can be sure I’ve been drugged to within an inch of my life taking good care of myself and feel connected and secure.
Like a mood ring, the cuticles reveal the story of my day. Here’s a detailed guide (with the feeling I’m avoiding in parenthesis):
- Ragged Index Finger Cuticle (Boredom): I likely spent several hours at the park playing make believe, possibly portraying a wicked witch trying to capture and eat Hansel and Gretel. Over. And over. And over. (I may have even brought my kids with me to the park this time!)
- Frayed Thumb Cuticle (Insecurity): I probably volunteered at my daughters’ school and didn’t get a warm enough reception from the cool moms or felt hopelessly dowdy and dull. Or I avoided the school principal so I wouldn’t say “yes” to yet another volunteer opportunity. Because I really would mean “no.”
- Torn Pinky Cuticle (Joy): I possibly had a great idea for an article or a post (e.g. I’ll write next from my cuticles’ point of view!) or had a fun adventure with the girls minus any arguing or whining. Life is GOOD! I picked this cuticle to avoid exploding with excitement. I’m adorable like that.
- Raw Side of Thumb (Fear): Guess who missed a few workouts and is feeling fat today?! Or I’ve been impersonating a drill sergeant, pushing myself mercilessly to finish a project. No bathroom breaks. No weakness. Go, go, go.
- Jagged Ring Finger Cuticle (Anger): I likely spent time contemplating ways to blame my husband for some real or imaginary transgression (e.g. the shampoo bottle falling on my toe in the shower, a dresser drawer closing on my finger, a stinky clogged toilet). Even though he’s been at work for hours.
I’ve tried various methods over the years to curb my picking – deep breathing, meditation, manicures, snapping rubber bands, sitting on my hands, cuticle cream – and many have worked for periods of time. But the picking always returns.
I bet you have a more evolved (and sanitary) way of handling stress and anxiety. Please share! Is there hope for me and my cuticles or am I doomed to a life of scruffy fingernails?
Oh, Mary! I loved this post because of how well you told it, not for how you torment yourself. My sister-in-law had a chronic problem with this, too. She has to keep acrylic nails on at all times to stop herself. My mom actually keeps cuticle clippers in her pocket 24/7/365 and clips those poor things to death. Though my own neuroses are broad and vast, I don’t know what to advice re: cuticles. Now, if you want to talk about how to get through life with never touching a door handle, let’s talk.
You’re such a sweetheart! I’d love to hear more about your “broad and vast” neuroses and your talent for avoiding door handles. Except if learn more, I may start to obsess …
Ha, I’m a picker too. I now also have full-time acrylic nails because I was such a bad nail-biter. I have actually managed to bite thru that on occasion-gross, eh? Before the acrylics I actually chipped a tooth and was starting to have jaw problems. I think my nails should be covered by my health insurance since they are medically necessary-and really short. Sigh. Other than the picking I am extremely attractive, intelligent, and hysterically funny. HA! I figure I could have much worse vices, right? Fret not.
Thank you for commiserating! Of course insurance should cover that – great idea! And yes, you absolutely are extremely attractive, intelligent, and hysterically funny. Me, too! Let’s tatoo all of that on our bellies too!
This is too funny. My nails are my last go-to and when I am super anxious it’s my right pinky that gets all the action. Thankfully it’s rare but I could totally relate (and laugh at!) this post!
Smart girl to limit all your picking to one pinky. I’ve always said you were wise and disciplined (and of course, lovely)! I’ve missed some of your recent posts and want to catch up – I’ll come visit you soon!
Sounds painful.
Some great details here.
Details are in – they keep my fingers occupied
!
Good.Its that or steel gloves with a lock.
Perfect! I knew someone would have a great idea for me! Steel gloves with a lock it is!
Happy to help.
As I read this I was picking my thumb- the catch all for any emotion! I usually make it bleed. How gross, right? I love your picking posts and love you pick for joy as well as the other reasons. I’m glad you picked me as a friend.
Thank you for joining me in picking, but let’s join on something much more fun … any ideas? Ditto on the friend picking – we have good taste!
Lots of pickers here. Me too. Cuticles and nails. I’ve “quit” many times through the years! Maybe someone will know the trick to stopping for good.
It feels good not to be alone! I’m counting on someone bringing hope and fail-safe tricks for quitting. I will keep you posted!
more evolved? nope. more sanitary? nope. more sane? hell no. do my cuticles look like something out of a horror film? you bet. there. I admitted it. and I feel better not being alone with this habit. it’s better than smoking or heroine, right? because my ratty cuticles and I prefer to be better than someone.
Yes! There’s a whole team of us pickers! And I will join you in a hit of superiority wherever I can get it! xo
i could say, pick your nose instead, that’s what my son did when i asked him to stop picking his fingers, but instead i’ll just say, stop picking on my friend!
Awww – thank you! Love the nose picking idea – not sure it’s much of an upgrade but I’m open to trying it!
hahaha
I love how you deconstructed your cuticle picking! As for me, my frayed thumb skin tells the whole story. I am also a compulsive gum chewer when I’m alone – or for that matter, when I’m really stressed, just give me a bag of vegan chocolate chips. I actually just caught myself as I wrote this picking at my ring finger. It’s scary the ways we are alike!
Scary alright! And happy! For today, how about we focus on our common bond of being beautiful, talented, brilliant, hilarious and lovable? And share that bag of chocolate chips already!
It’s so great how you can write such an entertaining post about your cuticles! I think I’ve mentioned before that I get regular manicures to save my cuticles, and my nails finally look good! It’s such a hard habit to break. At least it’s a free and accurate mood ring
You told this so well!
I like your suggestion the best so far – manicures make such a difference for me too. I don’t get them often enough cause I get annoyed when they only last a few days. If I got them regularly, that wouldn’t matter as much … I’ll make an appointment today!
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My brother-in-law does this, and it drives my sister nuts. But when we’re with them, she nags him so much to ‘stop picking,’ that she ends up being more annoying than he is.
I have this weird thing where I absentmindedly scratch my head. It makes my scalp all greasy and gives me dandruff. Do ya feel less weird now? Huh? Do ya???
=)
I would feel much better if I saw a picture of this strange, debilitating affliction of yours
!
As I wrote in a post awhile back, my nails look like they’ve been eaten by weevils. I pick them, not bite them, which I think is totally disgusting (despite the identical end result). I used to try to stop, but I’ve decided I am OK with a lifetime of scruffy fingernails. I was very impressed by the intricacies of your cuticle picking. My nail picking tells a basic story – the closer I’ve picked them to the quick, the more anxious I am.
Weevils – cannot imagine a more perfect description! And as I’m looking at a lifetime of scruffy myself, I hope some of your acceptance rubs off! Thanks for visiting!
FYI – your post inspired a post at A.P. And I linked you to it.